I’ve lain in the dark for a fortnight

my shattered, jagged and weak edges 

sprawled on the floor like broken glass

waiting to fade into nothing

or for them to come and take me away;

i hoped for the former.

i held my breath 

till the wildest winter creeped in

i told everyone else

all of the words i so badly needed to hear

and when i tried to say them to myself

they echoed back like static noise.

my chest is filled with rolling avalanches 

that persist with every passing moment.

i wondered what i could do with my heart;

if i could tear it to pieces like paper,

if i could smash it to the ground like glass,

if i could break it down like a weak wall,

but the truth is that it is simply a heart

and i could do nothing but bear it.

and so i could hear you tap on my window

but i yelled back, 

that the shattered pieces of me were too dangerous 

August 31, 2023