and when we fell apart,
looking back at it in hindsight
the both of us did so
in a different fashion from each other
six months sober
since i was at the mercy
of the idea of who you were
versus who you actually were
and that tore me apart
came undone right at the seams
while still in your arms
where love bombs
turn into ear-splitting silence
and cold blank stares

six months sober
since you were at the mercy
of what you thought you wanted
versus what you truly wanted
and everything else in between
that you didn’t know you needed
jagged edges of your frame
like glass
felt awfully imposing
but also so familiar and safe

but maybe
we really were destined to fall apart
no matter how many times we tried
to make sense of what we were
and what we weren’t
cause see,
you shattered the promises you made
and i picked them up
i still have all the pieces
that remind me of the
jagged edges of your frame
that remind me
that I’m everything i thought i was
and everything i thought i could be
the fire in my eyes that burned
ever so softly
against the backdrop
of your harsh winter wasteland
that yielded absolutely nothing
perhaps
not cause of your own anxieties
but simply cause you didn’t want to.

and when we fell apart,
i wonder if you look back at it in hindsight
and feel like a piece of your heart is missing,
or do you soothe your ego and say
“it is what it is”
and go about your day
like nothing ever happened?