days were gone
when he could no longer remember
the sound of laughter
or the taste of happiness
all those were distant memories
their ghosts would run across
from time to time
with anxiety etched on the walls
and depression and disillusionment
lurking in the hallways.

as he stared at the ceiling
and it all unfolded
in the one screen
of the film reel
in his mind
and saw his life in pictures
thinking about how and where
it all desperately went wrong
but an answer was not forthcoming:
all he knew was that he needed to be free;
something had to give

and he headed over to the window
barefoot, as the floor creaked
under his step
stared out the window
with longing in his eyes
catching his breath
wrestling with tears
in a futile battle

totally shipwrecked
in a sea of doubt, distrust and failure
tossed by waves
above and below
unsure
with this nagging, peculiar feeling
that this pain would be for
evermore

so he looked up front
out at the city skyline
for what may be the last time
as he crept out to the ledge
frost was the weather
and conceit was the feeling
but not just a feeling
sort of a resolution,
grand finale,
all or nothing.

clouds lay high and away
the moon stared on distress
stars shone brighter than ever
as if to deter,
maybe this was nature’s way of saying
“you’re not alone and we need you here”
maybe he would have listened
but his mind was far away
chanting “freedom!” , “freedom!”
then, he rose on the ledge
and made for the sky
as if he were a bird
and there it was;
a one-way express ticket to freedom
his soul soared
but his body was unlucky.
at least he was in a better place

followed a big thunderstorm
the moon hid behind the clouds
thunder was mighty and loud
stars were nowhere to be found
nature was mourning helplessly
not even the sun wanted to be seen at dawn
when his kin came, they wept.
body buried, headstone on the lawn
and perhaps it was their own doing
they hadn’t been wise with their words
when he asked for help
worse still they did nothing at all
called him a trainwreck, a lost cause
“maybe it’s just a phase”, “you’ll get over it!”
nothing could have ever prepared them
for a loss of this magnitude
except
a kinder
attitude.

inspired by:
evermore – Taylor Swift (feat. Bon Iver)
this is me trying – Taylor Swift
everything i wanted – Billie Eilish