the very thing i clamour for
i recoil at the first sight of
and run away
like a wounded, whimpering dog
i always licked it from knives
and crumbs off the floor
protect me
from what i want
if you handed it to me
then i wouldn’t know what to do
with it
i would cup it in my hands
and cradle it
and hold it too tight
and then wonder why
it’s life was snuffed out;
i closed my fist
around something delicate

please protect me
from what i want
if you handed it to me
then i wouldn’t know what to do
with it
maybe I’d wear it on a chain
round my neck
and ever so slightly
tighten the chain
till it choked me
i fall to the ground

and if there was a dignified way
to say what i wanted
then I’d be fluent in that language
but i crave a voice to echo mine
fingers that intertwine
and a knowing smile

i am not beautiful but i could be
i have not yet bloomed but i will
i tasted poison but couldn’t spit it out
got struck by a poisoned arrow
but couldn’t pull it out