if you’re anything like me
you’ve learnt to write poetry
you hold it close to your chest
it becomes your honour
the very thing that gets you on your feet
that gets you moving
and fills you with life
and so you search for heartbreak
in all the nicest places
because what good is art
if not made with a sombre state of mind?
you see poetry in every little thing
and every person you meet
from the way they talk
down to the way they tuck their hair
behind their ear when they’re nervous
future poetry;
maybe of regret or of joy,
time bears the answer to this.

if you’re anything like me,
you’ve built your house with glass walls
as you were always taught
as you were always accustomed to
you set yourself on a pedestal
and every nod of approval
only makes it taller and taller
till one day
one arrow of disapproval
shot to the heart
gathers enough strength
to bring you down the pedestal,
shatter all the glass walls,
you tumble and fall apart
not even the king’s men and their horses
would be able to put you together again.

if you’re anything like me
you come to realize
that life’s a revolving door
some people come and go
and few will make it through
to your future
they just come to visit, then bid you goodbye
if you’re lucky, they’ll come around
a second time
and when they stay, then it’s meant to be
but don’t tattoo their name on your heart
just yet
you’re fickle;
standing in the corridor at 3 am
wondering if you should listen to your mind
that says they’ll leave any minute now,
now forcing yourself to grow distant
you become a monster of self loathe
screaming at the top of your lungs
so loud that it drowns out the love
that they had for you
and wonder why they fell into nonchalance.
but that’s the thing about pushing people away
you don’t get to be surprised
when it works.

if you’re anything like me,
you’re tired
of meeting in the back-alleys
and having to peer round corners
everytime you’re about to lock lips
with the one you love
or so you think you do
their words, their little lies
sweep you away like riptides
right through the calm waves
next thing you know,
you’re washed up ashore
waiting to see if they’ll come back
if they’re still there
and whether or not they still care
if they do, then it’s a waiting game
who will topple first?
you’re trapped in a talking game
with them and sometimes with yourself
and it ends up morphing
into you screaming at the sky,
while cursing their name.
“why didn’t you stay?” you call out desperately.

if you’re anything like me
you love to stay awake past 2 am
and listen to the thoughts
that turn over and roll in your mind
and quickly realize
that no amount of overthinking
will bring back the fair weather friends
who deserted you at 17
because you were different,
those lunch tables will always remain empty,
leave them in your past.
you instead look out the window
and join the stars
as they listen to the Moon’s lore and tales
of how you’re always trying
you shed a tear
and they gather round and embrace you,
saying,
“Darling, you’re doing a great job.”

and darling, if you’re anything like me
then I’m sorry…
but believe me, we will be alright.