wash over me

didn’t have the courage to say it
but if you knew
how much it killed me inside
every single day.
shaking hands, cold sweat
tell myself, “don’t fret
what could possibly go wrong?”

you’re more dangerous than the Mauna Loa
maybe if i knew what was in your heart
i wouldn’t have to go lower and lower
to dodge your words like scorching lava
but instead i let them wash over me
like acid rain over a wasteland

tell me
how am i supposed to feel safe
in my homeland
when all you ever do is shoot
you know I’m not bulletproof enough
i can’t do anything except
let your words wash over me
like knives and swords raining down
on ancient city ruins.

you said this was the last straw
i could have chosen
to go with grace
but not this time
clutching on straws
hoping that
my shipwreck would be washed up on shore
finally free from your tempest ocean waves
i put a message in a bottle hoping
maybe it’d reach you safely
and it read “i surrender; do what you will.”
cause this is bigger than me
but still i
let your words wash over me
like whitewater in the rapids
eroding underwater rocks each passing moment
exposing my inner core more and more.